suitsmonkeys

How Suits Make Monkeys Out of Men: A case of old Bristish balls

Culture, Fashion

Womenswear has become the fashion world’s de facto United Nations—superficially global with minimal social progress. No one really cares if it’s Navajo or Nanaimo (so long as America pays the bills), but on some level there’s a desire to seek new trends and experiment with foreign modes of sartorial expression.

Menswear, meanwhile, has evolved into something vaguely resembling MuchMusic: no amount of snarky hipster lexicon can cover up for its gross cultural irrelevance. It remains stagnantly Western, and more specifically, British. At one point this diversity dike could be blamed on men’s aversion to, well, fashion. But with men everywhere jumping on the “maybe I should wear a belt with this” bandwagon, that excuse flies out the glory hole in favour of a more sociological explanation.

It all started with the Brits. Streamlined suits, skinny ties, button-down shirts, trench coats, polo shirts, and countless other male wardrobe staples all have Redcoat roots. Back in May, Oliver Spencer quipped to The Guardian: “If you looked at a line-up of current menswear looks and asked someone to pick out the British outfit, you’d find every item has a British influence.” America can be credited for a few gems, like jeans, but when fair isle qualifies as a foreign influence and bowties count as quirky, you’ve got diversity problems…. read the rest of my piece in the Toronto Standard

riots

Politicians’ Dictionary: Riot Edition

Politics

Protester [pro·tes·tor] noun.

1. A courageous and morally righteous civilian who risks everything to demonstrate against injustice and oppression. Separate from terrorists in that they serve U.S. political interests. Likely living on #CBSBigBrother’s leftover slop; these heroes are Paul Reveres of the 21st century whose cause must be bolstered through the power of Anderson Cooper. Protesters’ actions cause justice, liberation, and power in the hands of whichever political party America supports at the time. Any and all police action against protesters is epidemic, brutal, and unnecessary. If video proves otherwise; the action was still epidemic, brutal, and unnecessary. Protester deaths in police custody are crimes against humanity and only occur after hours of torture and sodomy. Government leaders whose nations fill with protesters are intentionally evil and likely descendants of Judas.

Thug [thugh] noun.

1. A vicious and morally-void youth who mindlessly vandalizes and loots Western cities for no good reason. Separate from terrorists in that they aren’t of Middle-Eastern heritage. Likely tripping on hallucinogens, the “Twitter”, and the intoxicating effects of unemployment; these hoodlums are the scum of society and  must be ridiculed and stopped at all costs– unless Parliament is on vacation. Thugs’ actions cause reeling, tragedy, and societal decay. Any and all police action against thugs is necessary, fair, and in the public interest. If video proves otherwise; the action was a solitary incident perpetrated by an officer (or 30) gone rogue.  Thug deaths in police custody are the tragic and unavoidable result of long-lived heart conditions. Government leaders whose nations fill with thugs are bewildered and form government-run inquiries to look into the matter.

ford signs

The Ford Network

Politics

Toronto is feeling recessed.

Rob Ford added running for Mayor to Activities.

Rob Ford removed Carleton University from Education.

The Toronto Star is feeling confused.

Rob Ford is feeling sweaty.

Etobicoke sent Toronto a gift: “Conservative Mayor.”

Suburbs like this.

Central Toronto dislikes this.

Rob Ford invited Don Cherry to an event: “Inauguration.”

Toronto joined the Self-Sabotaging Cities network.

Rob Ford harvested 200 butter tarts on Tim Hortonsville.

NOW tagged Rob Ford in a photo.

Rob Ford removed freedom of expression from Interests.

Inner Circle took a quiz: “Are you a crony, reformer or creep?”